MEANDERTHALS
* Getty Images - Pierre Andreu
A lot of our blokes are into caravaning etc so ....
When travellin’ the highway they call The Bruce
You’ll see wallabies, galahs and maybe a goose
Things that put a smile on a tired driver’s dial
As he – or she – ticks off each eye-weary mile
Up ahead through the haze, that summer day shimmer
There’s something moving, you catch just a glimmer
You spit out a curse – SHIT! – ’cos you ain’t too enthralled
It’s a slow-movin’ line of tarmacadam meanderthals
On the back of the vans they write their names
Bewdy, mate, now we know who to blame
The line of Viscounts and Majestics snakes on forever
And here I am stuck behind Ann and Trevor
From where I sit, your Jayco, has got a broad arse
I could check out the rest if you’d just let me pass
’Cos that’s the rub grey nomads, you pensioner pioneers
We only ever get to see your motor homes’ rears.
The Bedouins of the bitumen have all the time to roam
Impatient drivers, behind, just wanna get home
Snailing along slowly going out of our brains
How far is it now, to the next passing lane?
When travellin’ the highway they call The Bruce
You’ll see wallabies, galahs and maybe a goose
Things that put a smile on a tired driver’s dial
As he – or she – ticks off each eye-weary mile
Up ahead through the haze, that summer day shimmer
There’s something moving, you catch just a glimmer
You spit out a curse – SHIT! – ’cos you ain’t too enthralled
It’s a slow-movin’ line of tarmacadam meanderthals
On the back of the vans they write their names
Bewdy, mate, now we know who to blame
The line of Viscounts and Majestics snakes on forever
And here I am stuck behind Ann and Trevor
From where I sit, your Jayco, has got a broad arse
I could check out the rest if you’d just let me pass
’Cos that’s the rub grey nomads, you pensioner pioneers
We only ever get to see your motor homes’ rears.
The Bedouins of the bitumen have all the time to roam
Impatient drivers, behind, just wanna get home
Snailing along slowly going out of our brains
How far is it now, to the next passing lane?
* getty images
Little villages would survive if your money went around
But you pull up overnight in a layby out of town
Would it hurt, for a treat, every once in a while
To pay for a van park, give the owner a smile
And when you do spend, it’s at the chain stores
Not at the small shops, which are begging for more
You use discount fuel coupons at Colesworths-owned stations
Those greedy bastards’ll be the death of our nation.
Spent the night in a motel, and got up real early
Wanted to get a good start ahead of Bob and Shirley
I spy a steep hill. Gawd, that’s all I need!
Come on Nev, give it a rev - you’re at stalling speed
Bloke oughta get a CB, tune in to the codes
And join in the chatter up and down the roads
Then message I’d give is: Listen up, mate:
Bloody well pull over … and let us overtake!
© Ian McDougall August 2012
But you pull up overnight in a layby out of town
Would it hurt, for a treat, every once in a while
To pay for a van park, give the owner a smile
And when you do spend, it’s at the chain stores
Not at the small shops, which are begging for more
You use discount fuel coupons at Colesworths-owned stations
Those greedy bastards’ll be the death of our nation.
Spent the night in a motel, and got up real early
Wanted to get a good start ahead of Bob and Shirley
I spy a steep hill. Gawd, that’s all I need!
Come on Nev, give it a rev - you’re at stalling speed
Bloke oughta get a CB, tune in to the codes
And join in the chatter up and down the roads
Then message I’d give is: Listen up, mate:
Bloody well pull over … and let us overtake!
© Ian McDougall August 2012
